There’s a moment where defeat utterly sinks in. That complete deflation. When every ounce of hope and joy gets sucked out all at once. When the loss is inevitable and you’re just waiting for the suffering to end¹.
That’s what it feels like these days. I feel like we’ve completely lost as a country. The world’s oldest democracy, champion of free speech and “one of the greatest nations” in the world is thoroughly defeated.
We should have been able to handle a pandemic better than any country² and yet the very things that define us as a nation are what have severely crippled us during this time.
Capitalism, free market… price gouging and U.S. companies selling PPE overseas that probably contributed to a shortage for our own hospital workers. How was it that we were manufacturing masks here, but selling them to China?³
Our precious democracy devolved into a bickering bipartisan government. Two sides more divided than ever over every single thing it seems. There’s no middle ground, no center, no moderates anymore. Only winners and losers. If you’re not for one side, you choose the other simply to fight and win. What’s the price of this division? Over 200,000 souls lost.⁴
Free speech only applies if you agree with the message being said. Free speech, but no free listening. No. Hearing is free, listening comes at a price. Listening requires you to give up something. Preconceived notions are costly. But I don’t want to lose, so I’m not listening anymore.
So here we are, utterly defeated. What is the way out now? How do we bridge the gap between us? How do we rise up and win?
The Olympics!⁵
Just kidding, but it’s not that far off from what needs to happen. Somehow, we need to all come together realizing that we’ve lost together as a country. This country that we all love. It’s not perfect; no country is. We lose as a team and we win as a team.
So where do we start?
Realize that we ultimately want the same thing and have the same goal:
“Make America Great Again”
…only for real this time.
Realize that we’re one team and not really two sides. It’s crazy that we’ve somehow chosen to divide ourselves into two, despite the fact that as a country, we’re one of the most diverse.⁶ We come from all sorts of different cultures, traditions and generations. How is it then that we’ve decided to split up into ONLY two teams? A few recent studies found that people in the U.S. are willing to bend their own ideals to align with their chosen political party⁷. As we have divided ourselves into these two parties, our ideals have shifted to align with the party we’ve chosen. Why? Because we want to win, because we want to be right. We want THEM to lose, we want THEM to be wrong.
How do we even begin the process of uniting?
Listen. That means understand where they are coming from. It doesn’t mean formulate all the reasons why they’re wrong. Understand the diversity of their experiences, their needs, their hopes and dreams, their feelings and fears.
They’re not stupid. Say it with me. “They’re not stupid.” There’s a life of experiences tied to their decision. There’s a reason why they believe what they believe. Their life up to this point has led them here. Don’t invalidate them based on this decision. Don’t sum up the whole of their being and life and disregard it based on the last four years.
Don’t give into the hate. Stop watching those videos for validation. Don’t chuckle at that meme that shows you how stupid the other side is. By the way, hypocrisy is not relegated to one party and a meme is not information, it’s a guilty pleasure cookie after dinner. If whatever it is you’re consuming leads you to hate, go on a diet.
Stop strawman-ing. A strawman is coming up with the weakest possible argument for the other side, and beating that to death to win the debate. That’s cheap and cowardly and you are neither of those things. Actually seek to know why the other side might have a point and start from there. It doesn’t mean you have to ultimately agree with them, but you can at least come to an understanding.
And lastly, check out AllSides. It’ll give you a wider perspective of news and media bias. Maybe even read a whole article from the other side (just don’t read the comments section…bleh…)
¹ These guys know the feeling all too well: T.J. Berka, “When fandom goes bad: Most miserable fan bases in pro sports,” ESPN, Dec 28, 2019
² We LITERALLY should have been the most comprehensively prepared country to handle a pandemic: 2019 Global Health Security Index
⁴ This story is about Wisconsin, but I feel it is indicative of the US as a whole. Laurel White, “How The Political Divide In Wisconsin Is Affecting The State’s COVID-19 Response,” NPR, October 23, 2020. Compare that with the COVID response of Asian countries where there was a coordinated government response from a national to local level. Michael Penn, “How Some Asian Countries Beat Back COVID-19,” Duke Global Health Institute, August 12, 2020
⁵ Off the top of your head, do you really know what states Michael Phelps, Simone Biles or Katie Ledecky were from? Of course not, because during the Olympics, we’re all Americans, baby! Assuming the world is a better place again by next year, the Olympics will start July 23, 2021
⁶ Diverse, largely because of our cities (particularly NYC, likely the most diverse city in the world thanks to Queens!) though still predominantly white, taking the whole country into account.
⁷ Here are a couple of articles citing those studies:
b. Olga Khazan, “What Your Politics Do to Your Morals,” The Atlantic, Sept. 9, 2019
c. Also, Pew Research has done a lot the past few years in regards to the growing polarization of Political Parties.
